Denise LaBine

My name is Denise LaBine. I live in Grand Forks, ND. I am 29 years old. I was born with Spina bifida (meaning split spine). This condition occurs when the embryonic neural tube is not completely enclosed. Because I was able to receive treatment, I lived-- but treating the problem doesn't "fix" it entirely-- and so I’m paralyzed and needs to use a wheelchair.

Life is a lot different when you are in a wheelchair. You can't pick up things that you drop on the floor easily. You can't do most of the normal activities in which people bond and form friendships. People look at you when you are grocery shopping. You can't just hop in a car and go out on the town. When I was younger I couldn’t just pack a bag of cloths for an over night with friends. I had to pack my braces and anything I used for personal cares that I need to do because I am paralyzed. Everything you do takes some sort of planning and organizing.

It's not easy to get dates in high school when you are different It's an emotional struggle in this and that area. It was very lonely to see my friends have boyfriends and go out on dates. I felt very left out. Friendships themselves were very hard starting in late elementary school because it became “to cool to be with someone who was different”. From about 4^th grade to freshman year of college I only had one or 2 good friends. When I was in college I started going to a college Christian Group called IVCF. It was there for the first time in years I felt like any one else when I wheeled into those meetings. That sense of belonging only intensified When I started going to HOPE Church in the mid-’00. It is there that I feel truly accepted among my able bodied peers.

Although my relationships with my able bodied peers are very important to me, there is one relationship with a guy in a wheelchair that is most important to me. That is the relationship I have with my fiancé, Joe. Like me, Joe also has Spina Bifda and is in a wheelchair. He is from a small town in North Dakota about 80 miles North of Grand Forks. We met when we were 2 years old. When I was a child my mom brought me to our local rehab for therapies. Joe’s mom would drive the 80 miles to take him to therapies. When I was 2 years old the Rehab wrote a newsletter on me and Joe’s mom picked it up and got in contact with my mom. Though out the years we stayed in contact and even got together from time to time. Then in January 2001 we started dating. We’ve been dating for 9 years. We got engaged December 20, 2009. He lives in a two bedroom and two bathroom town home. Before he moved into his home things had to be made accessible for him. So now his house works for him but not me so starting probably this summer or winter the house will be made more accessible for us. This includes lowering the counters in the kitchen, putting in just a stove top that leaves the bottom wide open so that when either of us wants to cook we can just wheel under and use the stove. Then the oven will be a wall mount. Since the bathroom in the master bathroom is already made to fit Joe’s needs, we will be destroying the second bathroom in his home to make that my bathroom. How many wives can say they actually have their own bathroom?! Pretty sweet I think. But in all seriousness it will make our lives easier considering our needs.

Living my life is not easy. Because of my disability I’ve had plenty of surgeries and other obstacles to over come. When I go through a rough time, I often think, “Why me? What did I do to have this all happen to me?” but then I look back and I realize that this is all in God’s plan for me. I don’t know what the whole plan is, who does, but I am looking forward to the day I can sit with my Maker and ask, “So everything that happened to me was all your doing huh?” and just hear what He has to say.